Disclaimer: Nope, can't claim any of them, oh that I could!
Notes: The original chat version appears at the end; all extra lines were deleted, but some of this version of the story was derived from the deleted lines so I'm very grateful to all who were at the chat.
Dedications: To Claudia, who wanted a bedtime story! ^_^

It all began with....

ok, has someone of you a nice bedtime story for me?
*giggles*
Yarol???
Yes, Cindy?
dearest... u volunteered?
or I cannot sleeping

Once upon a time, in the far away land of the New Frontier there was a brave and true Knight, Saber Rider. He was so named because he rode a slightly metallic looking horse called, imaginatively enough, Steed. And because he owned his own Sabre. Hence Saber Rider. Anyway, this brave knight was all alone in his battles with the evil clan of trolls called the Outriders. Now it was getting terribly difficult for him, because these horrible trolls seemed capable of turning up anywhere, anywhen.
One day this Knight met the lovely sorceress, April, so named because she was lovely as a spring day. She was the daughter of the Chieftain Eagle, head of the clan Cavalry Command. This lovely sorceress had the solution to the problem of the Outrider trolls. She had uncovered in her studies of the mysterious arts, the existence of a magical stone Giant, the champion of Justice!, called Ramrod because...errr, we're not going there....anyway, the knight and the sorceress searched for and found the mighty giant. (Actually this consisted of the knight and sorceress doing a lot of moaning and groaning and pouring over books to find a hint of where it might be, until the Shaman Whitehawk said something along the lines of : "You know, that mountain range over there always looked a lot like a sleeping giant to me.")
So having found the giant at long last, they realized they needed two more heroes to wake it up. And so went on a quest...
After crossing the liquid desert they first came upon a... Yes, I know there was no Shaman in the original version of the story....what? No, I just wanted to sneak a Whitehawk reference in...Anyway, they first came upon a poor half-elven ranger being tormented by some ugly harpies and their fathers.
Each the harpies was screaming that he had promised he would take her to the dance and not the others. Their fathers were just screaming (well, they had heard of this particular ranger's reputation, you see). However, Saber slashed and April cast, and soon the ranger was free. The ranger's name was Colt, because he was as ungainly as one, at least according to elven standards. (To which the knight said, "I didn't know elves had standards.
He doesn't even look like a flag to me." To which the sorceress replied with a sigh, "we have got to get you out of the armory more often, Saber.") And fair April asked him if he was a hero. And Colt said, "Sure am."
So the ranger joined the knight and the sorceress. And they traveled some more, through the mist-covered woods and over the blood crystal sea. And there the trio came upon an ugly talking rabbit. This poor rabbit had one very long ear and one very short, his front legs were too long and his hind legs too short and no leg was of the same length as another. Its fur was puce. About the only cute thing about the poor things was its sweet little nose. Anyway, this really ugly, talking rabbit cried to them (in a voice that would have made nails on a chalkboard sound like a lullaby) that he was really a prince, but the evil wizard Nemesis had turned him into a rabbit and had taken his throne!
To which the knight exclaimed, "Nemesis is the leader of the evil Outrider trolls! Surely this poor ugly bunny is the next hero we're looking for!"
The sorceress and the ranger looked at the knight as if he were crazy.
"Looks more like dinner to me," said the ranger, and promptly got slapped by the sorceress, and bitten by the rabbit (who also had a some nasty snaggle-toothed, buck-toothed (well, it *is* a rabbit afterall) fangs).
The sorceress, with infinite compassion, decided that the poor little bunny was actually quite cute in an ugly sort of way. So she picked him up and cuddled it. The rabbit cuddled close as well. Fair April kissed the rabbit sweet little nose. There was a flash of light and suddenly there was a handsome, and naked as a jay bird, prince standing before her. After some hurried clothing redistribution, the knight gasped, and bowed deeply, "Shinji, Prince of the Fireballs!" So named because, err, this another one I can't go in to...
And the ranger said, "Damn! There goes dinner." (The knight bopped the ranger over the head with the pommel of his sabre.)
Of course, the prince was a hero.
Now that they were heroes four, they crossed back over the blood crystal sea, through the mist covered woods, and the over the liquid desert.
Upon returning to the land of the clan Cavalry Command, they learned the Chieftain Eagle had been kidnapped by the Outrider trolls, and had been sacrificed to the evil wizard Nemesis. The evil wizard Nemesis had turned Chieftain Eagle into a table (and didn't quite notice any difference personality-wise).
The lovely sorceress wept many, many tears, each turning into a diamond as they hit the prince's should. To which the prince said, "ouch"
The knight comforted her as well, and there was much moaning, weeping and gnashing of teeth, until the disgusted ranger knocked them all upside their heads, and said "Don't get sad! Get even!"
So the four gathered around the stone giant, Ramrod, and chanted the spell of the four heroes...which I can't repeat, because in this world the words aren't very nice.
The massive giant rose from its moss-covered bed (the sorceress, eyes wide, was heard to murmur appreciatively, "Wow! you can really see why it's called Ramrod!"), and it lifted each one of them up on to its massive shoulders.
There could be no doubt, this giant was huuuuuuuuuuge!
The sorceress took advantage of the height, and clung to the prince for all she was worth. The knight and the ranger just looked at each other and rolled their eyes.
So, the giant Ramrod strode over the countryside (in only three mighty strides, I might add) to the castle of the evil Outrider trolls, and their leader, the evil wizard Nemesis. Now, Ramrod, (the champion of Justice!) merely stepped upon the trolls and squished them to death. But the evil wizard, Nemesis, was more difficult. For he transformed into a great and ancient dragon, old before the land of the New Frontier had been young, and whose wingspan blotted out the sun, turning the day to night.
Anyway, there was terrible and awesome battle between the great dragon Nemesis and the mighty giant Ramrod, and the sorceress April had to cast a spell to protect the four heroes, which was embarrassing, because she had cast it a bit too...tightly...and they were all stuck too closely together for a while. But at last, the giant Ramrod struck the dragon Nemesis a mortal blow. As he lay dying the great dragon Nemesis whispered that he would have his revenge. The great dragon's eyes rolled up and closed, a terrible smile gracing its night-scaled head.
The four heroes, however, failed to hear that fateful whisper...
And since the wizard Nemesis was dead, no one could undo the spell that had turned the Chieftain Eagle into a table; the clan Cavalry Command needed a new leader. So his daughter, the lovely sorceress April married the Prince, Shinji of the Fireballs.
And they all lived happily for the next four years, then the three sons of the evil wizard/dragon Nemesis (yes, I know there was only one son in the original, so sue me!) came silently into their happy land. But that my dear children is a story for another time.

(the original story as it appeared in the chat)

Once upon a time there was a brave knight named Saber Rider, who was all alone in his fight with the evil clan of trolls called the Outriders...
It was getting terribly difficult for him, because the trolls seemed to be able to appear anywhere...
One day he met a lovely sorceress named April, daughter of the Chieftain Eagle. And she had a solution to the problem
A magical stone giant named Ramrod, but to wake him up they needed two more heroes...
So the Sorceress and the Knight searched high and low for two more heroes. First they came upon a...
Anyway first they came upon a poor half-eleven ranger being tormented by some ugly harpies. Saber slashed and April cast and soon the Ranger was free...
The ranger's name was Colt, because he was an ungainly as one...at least according to elf standards...
And April asked him if he were a hero. And he said, "Sure am"
So the ranger joined the knight and the sorceress. and they travelled some more...through the mist covered woods and over the blood crystal sea...
And the trio then came upon an ugly talking rabbit...
which cried to them that he was really a prince, but the evil wizard Nemesis had turned him into a rabbit and taken his throne
To which the Knight exclaimed, "Nemesis is the leader of the evil trolls! Surely this poor bunny is a hero!"
The sorceress and the ranger looked at the knight as if he were crazy.
"Looks more like dinner to me," said the Ranger, and promptly got slapped by the Sorceress
The Sorceress decided the poor ugly bunny was actually quite cute
So she picked it up and cuddled it.
The Rabbit cuddled close
And she kissed the rabbit's little nose.
And there was a flash of light and suddnely there was a handsome Prince standing before her
The knight gasped and bowed deeply, "Shinji, Prince of the Fireballs!"
And the ranger said, "damn, there goes dinner"
Of course, the Prince was a hero
Well, the knight bopped the ranger over his head with the pommel of his sabre
Anyway, now there were heros four so they crossed back over the blood crystal sea and back through the mist covered woods.
Upon returning the foursome had disappeared that the Cheiftain Eagle had been kidnapped by the outrider trolls...and had been sacrificed to the evil Wizaed Nemesis...the evil wizard Nemesis turned him into table
the sorceress wept many, many tears each turning into a diamond as they hit the prince's shoulder....to which the prince said, "ouch"
The Knight comforted her as well, and it seemed they wouldn't be doing much until the
ranger knocked them all upside their heads, and said, "Don't get sad, get even!"
So the four gathered around the stone giant and chanted the spell....which i can't repeat, because in this world the words aren't very nice...
The massive giant rose from his moss covered bed, and lifted each of them up on to his massive shoulders...really this giant was huuuuuuuuuge!
the sorceress took advantage of the height and clung to the prince for all she was worth. The knight and ranger just looked at one another and rolled their eyes so, the giant Ramrod strode over the country side to the castle of the evil Trolls and their leader the evil Wizard Nemesis.
Ramrod merely stepped upon the trolls and squished them to death but the evil Wizard Nemesis was more difficult.
For he transformed into a great and ancient Dragon, whose wingspan blotted out the sun and turned the day to night
Anyway, there was a terrible battle and the Sorceress April had to cast a spell to protect the four heros, which was embarassing because she cast it a bit too..tightly.. and they were all stuck together for a while
But at last, the giant Ramrod struck the dragon Nemesis a mortal blow...
But as he lay dying the Dragon Nemesis whispered that he would have his revenge. The great dragon's eye rolled up and closed a terrible smile gracing its nigh-scaled head
The four heros however failed to hear that fateful whisper... And since the wizard Nemesis was dead, no could undo the spell that had turn the chieftain Eagle into a table, they needed a new leader
So his daughter, the Sorceress April married the the Prince Shinji of the Fireballs
And they lived happily for four years...then the son of the Evil Wizard/Dragon Nemesis came silently into their happy land...but that my dear children is a story for another time... ^_^