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It's Just Pain
By: J.J. (jjblue10@hotmail.com)


Night.
Silence.
Weak lights from the window.
The open window.
From which the heat wave enters.
And a breath of wind, which moves the curtains.
It blows.
It doesn't blow.
It blows.
It doesn't blow.
...

It stops.
It doesn't blow anymore.
And the sleep doesn't come.
And the gaze stares on those curtains.
As if staring at them for long enough time he could move them with his thought.
Nothing.
They are still.
Stopped.
Like him.
The adventurous part of his life is ended.
There is the peace now.
Maybe around him.
Not inside him.
Without goals now...
There is only emptiness.
It swallows him.
It doesn't let him go.
What is it?
Pain.
He hasn't another name for it.
Why isn't he happy?
The war is the pain, the war carries it.
Not the peace.
It shouldn't.
So why? Maybe cause he doesn't believe.
He doesn't believe in them.
Their promises.
Promises.
All lies.
The Deathculas.
How to believe in them?
They are killers... they are monsters... they are...

His parents' murders.
Many of his friends'.
Destructors of his planet.
Of his city.
Of his peace.
Of his happiness.

His heart beats, held in a painful grip.
Pain.
Old pain.
For what he lost.
For what he can't have back.
It is... lost.
Forever.
Pain.
More pain.
And they will continue to live unpunished.
It's unfair!

And a thought hits him.

Vengeance.
He wants vengeance.
For his pain.
For choking the pain with it.
Vengeance.
Useless, sterile.
It will give him nothing. It will not satisfy him.
Pain.
Always pain.
But he wants vengeance.
To fill the loneliness in which the Deathculas put him.
To fill his nights and days.
To fill his heart with something which isn't pain.
To fill his life.
And he will not have it.

Alone.

Is he alone?
He was been.
Very alone.
Too much alone.
Alone with his pain.
He faced the attacks alone.
He did his best.
He was been... good.
Yes, he was been.
Then... the others.
Met them incidentally, put together by the destiny.
They were united.
By the fight, by the pain.
And he wasn't alone anymore.
And the world had a sense again.
And then...

The peace.

Insinuated as a reptile between them.
It stabbed them in the back, on surprise.
It divided them, made them useless.

And now?

Nothing.
Not anymore common goals.
Nothing.
Not anymore same destiny.
They were been divided.
Not anymore friends.
Nothing.
He is again alone.
With his pain.
The wind blows again.
Strong.
So strong it raises completely the curtains.
So strong it makes to fly away his cowboy hat from where he put it.

How stupid!

He wouldn't be alone.
They are his friends.
His friends.
The best friends in the word.
No matter if they're near or far.
They will always be his friends.
And then... then he has someone else now.
Someone to think about.
And a goal.
A new one.
A marriage.
And a family.
A new one, all his.
A thought comes in his mind making him smile.

But do the Deathculas marry?

They seem so far now.
They were gone, part of the past.
A moment. Yes only a moment.
Ugly.
Painful.
A moment of pain, only pain.
And then... it was gone.
And now the life waits for him.
A true, happy life.
For him.
For the ones he loves.
Forever.
He closes his eyes.
And She welcomes him.
She.
The Peace.


Author's notes:
One of my oldest works based on what I knew at the time about the Japanese series. Bill's (Colt) parents were killed by the Deathculas (Outriders). Bill didn't take well the idea of a truce with them. In this story I wanted to see if it was possible for him to accept the idea to live in peace (which, by the way, should always be better than live in war).


The End

1999-2003 J.J.. And don't forget to write her what you think about this!